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Living with visual snow PDF Print E-mail
It is so hard to describe to people what I see. I can give a specific example and they "get it," but it is hard for people to wrap their heads around the idea that this is all of the time with everything that I do. I'm going to try to give some insight to help people get a better understand of what it is like to live with visual snow syndrome.

I wake up, my eyes are still closed, and for a brief second I get startled about what I'm seeing (with my eyes closed). Then I remember all too quickly that I'm seeing what I always see, shapes, static, lines, lights...

I open my eyes and it's no better, worse in fact. Everything is blurry, static fills the room. I look over at the clock and the numbers ghost with the time almost floating on top of the digital display. I see two of all numbers and words.

My day proceeds and my daughter asks me to paint her nails. I tell her I will try if my eyes can stay focused long enough to finish all ten.

Then she asks me to practice her lines with her for her upcoming play. 20 pages she asks me for. I tell her I can try to get through two.

My one year old pulls my hand and leads me to the back door to play outside. I tell him no because I cannot tolerate the sun, even with dark glasses. He cries and then I cry for causing him even one moment of sadness.

The kids load themselves into the car and off to camp we go. Floaters are swirling everywhere and my brain chooses to concentrate on those rather than filtering them out even for a moment. I keep switching the sun visor in the car to avoid the sun from hitting me in the eye even for a second. Too late, now I'm seeing crazy afterimages.

Come home and go on the computer to try and raise more funds and awareness for research. Eyes blur from my lack of focus, static, afterimages, all of it.

I get up and go sit on the couch to watch TV. I'm dizzy now.

I glance at the baby monitor to watch my son sleeping. I look away, and yet the image of him in the crib is still in my vision. It takes several long seconds to disappear.

Lunch time. Random blue spots appear. What are those? I have no clue.

Time for vision therapy to try and help my focus. The therapist asks me to look through a black rectangle and try to merge two images. I try to look at the images, but my brain will only see the black rectangle and it slowly closes in on the images and all I see is black. Blink, focus. Nothing helps.

Friends call. Are you feeling better? I try and explain that this isn't like the flu. This is every second of every day. There is no "feeling better."

Dinner time. I try to read the back of a box, but my eyes blur and I can't make it out. Glasses won't help.

Time to bathe my son. I dim the lights which helps with some symptoms and makes others worse. I can't win.

My older son is ready for story time, and I have to give him two options. He can either read to me, or I will have to pick a really short book with big words to read to him.

My husband and I turn on a TV show. Nothing looks clear. My mind and body are exhausted from my fight to get through the day. I fall asleep knowing that I will have to wake up and do it all over again tomorrow.


Please help break this cycle, and donate to help fund the next phase of our research efforts into finding a treatment for visual snow.